Live, while you still can

I have empathy...do you really?

Hello you.

I sincerely hope this finds you better than it found me.

It’s been two months since I last wrote to you and life? It’s been weird. Good weird.

You see, many of us are quick to say we have empathy when we see someone cry or lose a parent or something and then we feel bad for a few seconds.

But here’s the thing, do we really? Can you actually have empathy unless you know what someone is going through for yourself? Or is that just sympathy?

Two nights ago, I went through an insanely traumatizing incident…one that still makes me terrified to go out at night.

Underground cables outside my hostel exploded (here’s a video) and this was shortly after the Iranian military put out their tweet about everyone feeling everything and Nigerians kept daring them.

I watched the sky light up with fireballs with smoke everywhere and the constant booms. I claimed to be fine but eventually had a panic attack, triggered by a motorcycle being revved.

Here’s the thing, before now, seeing any videos on TikTok where Palestinians recorded themselves under attack, I usually just felt bad, reposted for reach and monetizing and moved on, forgetting in seconds.

After all, living in mild areas of Lagos, the max I had seen and heard was knockouts in December or gunshots during the ENDSARS Protests.

Now, watching a TikTok from Gaza hurts to my core. Before, I couldn’t imagine the kind of fear felt. Now? With flames that were not so close to us, with the constant booms, with the helplessness we felt where we didn’t know when it would stop or the fire service would arrive, with the fear of it happening all over again on a worse scale, things have changed.

I’m actually writing this at 2:30am as I woke up two hours ago and can’t go back to sleep even though I have no strength. I don’t know when I would be sending this out but I just wanted to share.

I used to hate emotions but now, I think I understand why we need them. A friend said something earlier today;

‘you’d just be going through life and then you’ll see a perfectly blue sky and a red flower surrounded by green leaves and you’d be so amazed by the beauty and everything would feel right’

I reasonated with that like crazy. You can be having a really shitty day (pardon) and then your baby niece that doesn’t recognize you smiles at you over the phone and boom! Life is all good again.

Life is short. Live while you can.

Over the past few months, I have been doing just that. I’ve hung out more with friends, I participated in class games and won medals, I even had a proper games night with friends that was stellar.

So yeah, fool around on twitter, dance in the rain, make banana waffles, drink cold caprisonne, Live. Just Live.

If you’ve loved this, please share with someone you think might like it too.

I’d definitely see you again…in one hour or six months.

All my love,

Iceyy.